Did you ever know someone who had an opinion of you that differed dramatically from how you see yourself? Like someone else thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread, smarter than Einstein, better looking than Cindy Crawford? Or someone whose standards you never quite measured up to? And they push their opinion on you, trying to MAKE you see yourself in a different light?
Is it more important to try to see yourself as you really believe you are, or does what other people think matter more? Is perception everything? Is what other people see the real truth? I mean, obviously there are some people in the world who have terrible self esteem and think very poorly of themselves. But I just mean, by and large, people who have pretty realistic assessments of themselves...is it possible that how others see you is closer to the real truth of who you are? People who know you well, not just casual acquaintances or people who know you very superficially, I mean.
Example : my husband thinks I'm hot. Which is good :) But he tells me I'm hot often, and I SO don't agree with him. I think I'm reasonably attractive, but not Hottie McHott Hott. Should I take him at his word? Yes, yes, I am Hottie McHott Hott. Thanks for noticing :::come hither smile::: Check me out. I'm ready for my close-up. Or is my assessment of myself more accurate?
Another good friend of mine, and colleague at work, thinks I am the epitome of academic excellence. Unfortunately, this friend does not have any influence whatsoever over my grades at University of Cincinnati ;) He thinks I write like a dream, I have razor sharp insight and am head and shoulders above the rest. Any professor who doesn't see my genius is blind (tongue very much in cheek). I think I'm reasonably intelligent and I am proud of much of what I have written. I work hard to write a quality product for the publications that I write for, and my military work hinges on my writing skills. I think I'm pretty good at what I do. I also think I deserved the bad grade I got last night on a paper....it clearly wasn't my best work.
Who do I believe? Am I being hard on myself? Am I really that good?
Growing up, I was told I'd never amount to much. That I'd be a wife and a mother because that is what I was capable of. Not that there is anything wrong with wifehood and motherhood...far from it. I am proud and glad to be those things. But to be told not to dream big dreams, because I'd never make it anyway....shoot for something attainable, like getting married and having babies, because that is what women do.
Whose assessment is right? Does it matter?