22 March 2008

One foot in the past

I am really thinking lately about some things that have happened in the fairly recent past and I can't seem to get them out of my head. If I bring these things into the present by continuously thinking about them, are they part of the past or part of the present?

It does no good to go back and try to relive things that happened before....you can't change anything about them, and they are no longer real. It's not really happening again, so it can't cause more pain, or more happiness. And yet you can't argue the fact that just the act of thinking about something can call up intense emotion, almost as if you were living the experience again.

My one girlfriend is so Zen about it, she says, just let the thoughts come and let them go. The situation isn't going to change, you know that. So let them come and let them go, and don't beat yourself up about it. They don't seem to be going though.

I don't like not feeling able to go to church on Easter. The thing that I love most about being in church (when I am not with the kids) is the peace....I feel like I am the only person in the whole room and I have God's undivided attention.

So we'll go to brunch for Easter instead of church.

We're also going on a short little road trip for spring break...I am so looking forward to a change in scenery. We're not going far but there is a hotel with an indoor water park involved so the kids will be in heaven. There will some stores to wander through, so my consumer heart will be glad. And hopefully there won't be any school or work stress that we bring along with us.

I have to finish stepping forward into the here and now, and leave the past in the past.

21 March 2008

Yeah, so....

I seem to remember saying I was going to make a point to blog more, and look. Two months later, I finally get around to it. And I still don't have much interesting to say.

Winter quarter truly sucked. Out loud. MEGA stressful. But thankfully it's over. Math and science are not my thing, at all, and I had statistics and physics. Blech. I finished finals Tuesday night around midnight, and Matt, bless his heart, spent almost as much time as I did, helping me and just providing moral support. I should have two B's for the quarter, maybe an A in stats. I rocked the final, much to my surprise.

Matt has been working nearly every weekend for the last three months. And April seems to be stacking up that way too. I'm about sick to death of being the sole sports/scouts/going to church with all the kids/birthday party/playdate shopping/errand runner on the weekends. I know it's his job, and he has to go to work sometime (I'm not about to, just yet!) but come on! It seems the only time he is off on the weekend is if it's my drill weekend, or if he is sick. He did call in sick last month but still.

Hmmm, what else? This is why I don't blog very much....nothing interesting to say. I think I must still be brain dead from finals.

Today is Good Friday and I would love to go to Mass today, tomorrow, Sunday. But I can't all three monkeys to church for the really long Masses that happen during Holy Week by myself. They won't survive, and I will end up in trouble. I don't like going to Mass on Easter and Christmas anyway, the church is SO crowded and people who don't have kids come fill up the cry room and then give me dirty looks when I come in with my kids. Kids are why they invented cry rooms and I try to take advantage of it, so that when they make noise, as Conner inevitably does, it disturbs as few people as possible.

What a boring post.