I am really thinking lately about some things that have happened in the fairly recent past and I can't seem to get them out of my head. If I bring these things into the present by continuously thinking about them, are they part of the past or part of the present?
It does no good to go back and try to relive things that happened before....you can't change anything about them, and they are no longer real. It's not really happening again, so it can't cause more pain, or more happiness. And yet you can't argue the fact that just the act of thinking about something can call up intense emotion, almost as if you were living the experience again.
My one girlfriend is so Zen about it, she says, just let the thoughts come and let them go. The situation isn't going to change, you know that. So let them come and let them go, and don't beat yourself up about it. They don't seem to be going though.
I don't like not feeling able to go to church on Easter. The thing that I love most about being in church (when I am not with the kids) is the peace....I feel like I am the only person in the whole room and I have God's undivided attention.
So we'll go to brunch for Easter instead of church.
We're also going on a short little road trip for spring break...I am so looking forward to a change in scenery. We're not going far but there is a hotel with an indoor water park involved so the kids will be in heaven. There will some stores to wander through, so my consumer heart will be glad. And hopefully there won't be any school or work stress that we bring along with us.
I have to finish stepping forward into the here and now, and leave the past in the past.