04 June 2010

Everybody's doing it

Apparently, it's "post your most embarrassing moment" week in blog-world.

Everybody's doing it.

Hmmmm, so many to choose from....there was the time I had gone into my office, shortly after the birth of my first child, to show him off. Now mind you, I worked in a flying squadron in the Air Force. Perhaps not the most baby-friendly environment one could think of. My boss was Lt. Col D, a tall, solid-built pilot with a booming voice that, with his Georgia accent, sounded remarkably like Foghorn Leghorn. Lt Col D was out of his office for a meeting (super top secret code for "at the golf course") and the baby needed to eat. I closed myself into his office after securing promises of privacy and interference-running for the following 20 minutes or so, from the folks who worked right outside his office. Not twenty seconds into nursing the baby, Lt Col P flings the door open, hollering, "Hey Bill!" scaring the crap out of me, the baby and then also himself. Thanks for running interference for me, guys. Just a couple of weeks before that, I had been just one of the guys in a flight suit in the squadron. I think we both came away from that incident scarred. I still have a hard time looking him in the eye.

Or perhaps the time I was with one of my darling offspring in a public restroom. Said offspring was in the process of potty training at the time of the incident. I sat down to, um, do my business, and as I finished, said offspring cheered me, saying, "Good job Mommy! I KNEW you could do it!" Hmm, wonder where he heard that before?

Maybe it's the time I had tried to take all three of my lovely children to Mass by myself, when Captain America was away on a trip. Ages of lovely children were 8, 6 and 3. The 8 and 6 year olds were ok, but the 3 year old was having none of it. He refused to take his winter coat off, which was fine. But then he needed to lay down on the kneelers, and as I tried to pick him up with that coat on, I ended up poking him with my thumb. Hard. During a quiet, reflective moment of the Mass, my child had a quiet and reflective screaming fit: "OWW!! MOMMY! You poked me! That really hurt! Why did you poke me?!" I didn't mean to poke him but after his outburst, during which every single person in church was staring at us, I would have gladly poked him on purpose. Hard.

There are many to choose from, and I don't know if I can definitively say which one was the most embarrassing.

Oh, you didn't think I was going to pull out the really good stuff, did you? I have so many ways in which I have embarrassed myself that I could talk for a couple of days without getting to the good stuff. How much time do you have? ;)


Elizabeth Flora Ross said...

That first one takes the cake! I can only imagine! Yowsa!

Marianne Thomas said...

LOL -- I'm right there with ya!

Lynn said...

Glad you reminded me about this post tonight...I had been interrupted in the first paragraph the last time I tried to read it and hadn't gotten to the good stuff. That first one cracked me up. I love nursing baby humor. And potty humor, too. This post has it all!

Jenn said...

Oh heavens...well...I've lived that first one...and the kid poking incident is funny. I mean...who hasn't had their child blurt out something during quiet reflective moments in church??? Unless you just don't go or just don't take kids...it happens! But I laughed at the middle one...because it's just pure kid <3