01 December 2008

Reliving high school

No, maybe I should call it "reliving middle school' because that is about as mature as this stupid mess is.

Somehow, because I chose the wrong person to confide in, and she in turn felt free to share my personal pain with half of the world and I've become neighborhood gossip, I seem to have lost some friends. It's a giant case of "she said, she said," and I'm really only indirectly involved. I confided in someone who I thought was a good friend, and she obviously didn't have those same thoughts about me. So she told two friends, and they told two friends, and they....

So. People know this really private information about me from the worst time of my life, and somehow I'M the bad guy. Without going into excruciatingly boring detail that is too complicated for daytime TV, I have lost the confidence betrayer (not much of a loss, but it still sucked to find out that she was not my friend), the confidence betrayer's sister (who was also a good friend, or so I thought) and the one that is killing me, and confusing me the most, is my neighbor and someone I truly thought of as a dear, dear friend, C. I cannot for the life of me figure out why C is not talking to me. I know how she is involved in the entire mess, but I cannot draw the line from point A (the situation) to point B (being upset enough with me to stop speaking to me).

I've known C for six or seven years. I tried to be a friend and be there for her through different things....when her oldest son wanted to join the military, I talked with him, and drove him to see his recruiter when she couldn't, talked to her, hugged her and cried with her when her husband was diagnosed with cancer, cried with her when he passed, ran interference for her when her younger son flirted with the military and she was afraid he was about to be taken in by an unscrupulous recruiter, encouraged my husband to buy her husband's motorcycle after he died, because she couldn't stand to look at it in her garage and she needed the money......not because I am SuperFriend, but because I love her and I am her friend. And now, because of some mean spirited talk, she isn't returning my emails or my calls.

Girls can be so mean to each other.


sarah said...

Sorry Julie. It hurts but sometimes it is good to know where you truly stand with people. Maybe C is just having a hard time and will come around. If not then I am sorry. Loosing a friendship hurts.

Some Suburban Mom said...

Thanks :) I feel pretty sure it will all blow over in time, and I am feeling less hurt by the whole thing and more like I just don't have time for anyone who is not truly a friend. C is going through a lot, but she always is, it seems, and I don't want to lose her, but I feel like I've done all I can. It's up to her to decide if she wants to move past it or just walk away.
Thanks for your friendship :)