Long time nothing written

Well, the holidays are over. They came upon me, far too quickly, and I didn't really catch up until they were almost over. Maybe because I blew off doing much to prepare, until after finals were done. But I didn't have much choice in that matter. Worth it, though....I rocked fall quarter. After being seriously afraid of getting my first "D: in college, I got two A's and a B....good enough for Dean's List. I am such a dork about grades. It isn't like anyone is going to care, not really. What will matter is having the degree. But, I digress.

The kids had fun for the holidays and Santa was good to all of us. We even got to spend time with the grown up kids, which is always so great.

I just started winter quarter, and I'm only taking two classes, both of which are online. Good for the convenience factor, but not so good when you need structure, like me. But I have to go on the stupid ORI in a couple of weeks, which is non-negotiable, and it falls right during midterms time, also non-negotiable, and I didn't want to blow off an entire quarter, for one week out of my life. I cannot, not go on the ORI, unless of course I am dead or something. And professors generally don't like you screwing with their quarter schedules and getting all out of whack. But I do have wi-fi access where I will be, so I can still access my online stuff....still get a couple classes out of the way this way. And at the end of spring quarter, when I send my transcript to CCAF (Community College of the Air Force) I will have two Associate's Degrees, I believe. About damn time I have something to show for going to college for ten years now.

I've not been pondering much of anything lately, no deep thoughts or profound insights. Not that you need to do that, to blog, heaven knows. But I was asked to join a CHRP team at my church and after much hemming and hawing, I decided that it is exactly what I need and it came at exactly the right time. I sort of needed to refocus on church and faith and kind of reset my compass, so to speak. It's funny how God comes knocking, right when you need Him the most. He is always there, but sometimes you need a little push. At least I do. Since joining the team, I've been to three meetings and already I feel a little more grounded, a little more even keeled.

A major issue in my life, that has been there for the last couple of years, appears to have been settled....and I hope, truly hope it stays that way. One chapter closed, another begins. It is important to leave the past in the past, and when something has gone past its useful shelf life you need to put it out of its misery and let it go, even when it's hard to let go. There is nothing to be gained by dragging the past into the present, when it is supposed to over and closed. It all sounds pretty healthy and sane but it can be so hard to do. But I've decided to re-engage in the here and now, and put the past in the past. Or at least try my damnedest. Part of my New Year's resolutions.

I always make them; they give me hope. They are pretty much always the same, but switching over to a new year seems like as good a time as any to sort of recommit to the effort to improve myself. There is a book I love, called Mustard Seeds, by Matthew Kelly. Who is truly amazing and awesome, but that is another post for another time....back to the book. There is a short reflection, some food for thought, for each day of the year, and one of my favorites goes, "You will know you have become a fool when you think you don't need to change." No matter how good we think we are, we can ALWAYS do better, you know? No one is perfect, although many think they are!

So I am going to try to write something a little more often....it gives me some much needed mental exercise, and trying to come up with something interesting to ponder causes me think about all kinds of things....I usually surprise myself with the places that I go in my mind.

Links?

I am wondering why links I post don't show up as links. Hmmm.

I'm a dork

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct. It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

http://www.blogthings.com/theitsitstheretheirtheyrequiz/">The It's Its There Their They're Quiz

Found a link to some fun quizzes that ate up too much of my afternoon, but they were still fun :) It's Friday, hooray! It looks to be a fairly quiet weekend; we only have soccer games tomorrow, winter coat shopping, and dinner with some of the inlaws Sunday. It's cold and grey out, the perfect weather to stay holed up at home, watching movies in front of the fireplace.

Forgot to add....

a great link I saw posted on a message board that I used to post on, but now I just read it and don't post anymore.  

Here's the link...it's a fun game and it's for a good cause :

www.freerice.com

I really liked the board....a great group of ladies on it, but I just never felt like I fit in the group.  They've all known each other, obviously, for years and I just felt like an outsider.  Oh well.  I still read the board, pray for them and their intentions, but I haven't posted in a couple of months, at least.  

Anyway, this wasn't going to be about the message board, it's about the link.  If you're a word geek like me, it will be hard to stop this game.  And every word you get right equals rice for a United Nations feed the hungry program.  

I'm spending the day studying....I have a math exam tomorrow and a paper due tomorrow, and geology homework due Friday, plus a quiz over the weekend.  Have I mentioned how glad I will be when this quarter is over?  

Holy Cow!

It's been almost a month since I wrote anything!  I've been very very busy, and I think that the hectic pace is here to stay.  School has been keeping me incredibly busy and stressed out and the spousal unit was away for 10 days.  He was on what is called a 'fini' flight....his last military mission.  He got a sweet trip for it too, he went to Hawaii for those 10 days.  They flew shuttles between the islands for the Marines, but still...

While he was gone, I hardly ever sat down.  Honestly.  There were things going on with the kids every day, and because I didn't have anything else to do Saturday mornings, I signed the older two boys up for indoor soccer.  They really seem to love it so far....and it is so cute to watch little kids play soccer!  Seth's team is older and a little more experienced; it's more competitive.  Lucas's teammates are younger but most everyone has played soccer before.  My kids have not, but they are learning quickly.  

Well, I had parent teacher conferences last week too, and after discussing it with his teacher, we are looking into evaluating Seth for ADD/ADHD.   He just isn't outgrowing the behaviors that make it hard for him to settle down and focus on his work....he cannot sit still at his desk or at the dinner table.  I don't want to label him and drug him; more than one doctor or professional is going to have to work to convince me of that.  But I know something isn't quite right.  I think Seth is incredibly bright; his troubles aren't academic.  His teacher agrees that he is a very bright little boy.  But socially he's awkward, a little bit, and he's just so off into what is going on inside his head, that he is oblivious to what is going on around him, in the real world. I've ordered a book recommended by a friend, called "The Einstein Syndrome" to see what it says.  He matches the description of the children the author talks about....late talker, late potty trainer, very intelligent, very strong willed....I just want to see what it says.  I want to educate myself and be a good advocate for my son.  If he is ADD/ADHD, I just want to get him whatever help he needs to succeed.  And if he isn't, or if I am not convinced that he is, I need to be able to advocate for him and work to find alternate solutions to the challenges he is creating for his teacher and for himself.  

 

That is part of the reason I signed him up for soccer.  He said he wanted to play, but I also thought it would be good for him to do something physical, and to give him one more thing to have in common with the other kids in his class.  The other boys on the team are all in his class, and I wonder how much he really has in common with them.  He is always the kid who is playing by himself at recess because he doesn't like football.  It makes me sad to think of him being sort of a loner....I don't think he is necessarily an outcast, but I think he separates himself from the group.  

A lot of that is probably my own insecurity.   I was a social misfit in school and I don't want to see my kids suffer the same fate.   So, he is to be observed by the school psychologist and we go from there.  We also have a consult set up with the ped, and we just see what happens.  

Matt and I didn't exactly see eye to eye while he was away either.  There are lots of reasons for it, but in ten days, he called three times.  It's just one of those things when some days are better than others.  We have our issues certainly, like any other couple that has been together for any real length of time.  I didn't want to ruin his last trip by calling or emailing to pick fights, which is how I think he would have seen it, but I was really mad that he was too busy hanging out with his crew, scuba diving and sightseeing to call his family.  He told the boys he would call them every day and I think they talked maybe twice.  He is back home now and it seems that there is something unsaid.  Like maybe there is something we should talk about but neither of us wants to be the first to say, "We should talk."  

I have a habit of reading way too much into things, so I could very likely be way out in left field.  It wouldn't be the first time. 

I've taken the day off from school but tomorrow I've got to hit it hard again.  Finals are in three weeks and I can hardly wait.  I still have some other stuff to do in the meantime also.  I'm barely keeping my head above water, but I'm sure trying!  Lord, please help me through these last few weeks of school!  I'll have almost a month off for the holidays so when winter quarter rolls around, I'll be more ready.  I think.  

School is killing me

School is seriously killing me this quarter. I'm taking three classes, two of which are online. The mistake that I made was taking hard subjects online. You really have to be disciplined to take the time to do the work, when you can do it any old time. You can always say, well I'll do it later....after the kids are in bed....when they get on the bus....later this weekend....there's always later. Then your midterms crop up and you're like, oh crap, I didn't really work as hard as I should have!

History is, of course, my favorite class and the one I am doing the best in. It's a lot of work and I am studying topics I haven't studied before, which is interesting and thought provoking. Math and science, are hard for me, not really very interesting to me and I just don't get it. So, naturally, I am almost failing both of those classes.

I am amazed at how school and my attitude about it is invading my life. I'm constantly grumpy, it seems, and I think it's because I hate school this quarter. I need to do these classes and fill the squares on my checklist of credits I need to graduate but I HATE THEM.

I came very close to withdrawing from one of them, but then I talked to the professor, and I thought about it, and I decided to stick it out, at least for a couple more weeks. If my kid came to me with this problem, I would probably advise them to keep working at it and see if things get better. So I decided to follow my own advice. The deadline for withdrawal isn't till 15 November. I'm already halfway through, so it's like I would have done the work for nothing, and I won't get any refund for the quarter. So...I've already paid (a LOT!) for school, and I've already put a lot of work in....I'm going to keep trying.

Come on, December! Finals week is the first week of December....then it will be over :)

Thriving on Chaos

I apparently thrive on chaos.

I haven't posted anything in several days, because I've been out of town participating in an exercise with my military unit. The exercise began the moment we stepped off the plane. Actually, the fun began well before that. We reported at 1:00 pm. Got on the bus to out process at 2:00pm. Got to the terminal, after having gone through our chemical gear bags to make sure everything was there, at about 4:30 or so. I started to lose track of time so I can't be sure about that. We were supposed to take off at 9:50pm, but the aircraft was broke, so we waited around for it to be fixed. We actually took off at 1:30am. Got to Mississippi around 3:30, and then went for all of our briefings on how the exercise was going to go, and what we needed to do. After that, we took our bags to our rooms, then went to fill and sling sandbags for a while, and then had breakfast. The first opportunity to sleep came around 10:00 that morning. Ugh.

I worked nights with some great guys from my work section, so at least being with people who are fun to hang out with made it suck a little less. We worked 6p-6a and that first day, I honestly did not get out of bed all day. All day. Anyway, the rest of the exercise passed and things were fine, relatively speaking. We had fun and laughed when we could, worked hard, and we went home five days later. Exhausted.

Then, for me, the chaos continued. Matt left on a four day trip on Thursday and I was on my own with the kids. Getting back into the school day routine was tough, but fortunately the kids were off on Friday, so I only had to do it one day. So now, it's Saturday, and I'm trying to catch up mentally to where my body is. I have a ton of work for school that I need to turn in online this weekend, I need to get my house back in order, finish laundry, feed the kids, oh yeah I think we're supposed to go to a party tonight (!), and I want to get to the mall to get a gift for a friend who just had a baby. Always something to do.

Next week, there is something going on every night. Every single night.

I need a little bit of downtime!! Come on, Monday morning...when the kids go back to school. And the funny thing is, if things were quiet and there was nothing going on, I'd probably be complaining that I was bored and needed a little activity in my life.

I SO did not want to go on this exercise. And I don't particularly want to go on the inspection that the exercise was a dress rehearsal for. I will go, and I will do my best, because that is what I do, and that is what is expected of me. But WANT to? Nah. My fear is that a circumstance that is way beyond my control, and way above my pay grade, is going to bite me during the inspection, and my unit will get a black mark because of it. It is entirely too complicated to write out here but it relates directly to me. It affects me but I can't control it. The General doesn't care very much about what I do but he will care a great deal when he gets a black mark on the inspection grade card because of my office. I, and the other person in my office, have been trying to fix it the best we can for the last year or so, to no avail. But I just know that when it comes up during the inspection, I will be the one to take the fall for 'dropping the ball.' There are things you can control, and things you can't.

But still and all, I'm proud of myself for going outside of my comfort zone and doing things that I didn't think I could.

I've got to run, the coffee is done brewing. I'm going to need it; it's another day of running hard.